The Methodist Blues

Methodist Blues (lyrics)

by Garrison Keillor

I've been going to church every Sunday morn

Still don't know if I've been reborn

I'm sixty years old, is there something I've missed

Or is it just that I'm Methodist?

I got the Methodist blues.

The organist's mad, the pastor's unhappy

The hours are long and the pay is crappy

Troubles? O we got a whole long list

Because we are Methodists

Got the Methodist blues

The sound system's bad, there's a buzz in the speaker

The budget is busted, the collection is meager,

This great big debt load we been carryin

Maybe we oughta be Unitarian

People gossip about who did what,

The ladies circle is a pain in the butt.

Want to slap their face or at least their wrist

But I can't cause I am a Methodist

I got the Methodist blues

We're not big on shows and dances,

Mixed drinks or big romances

I've been hugged but never French kissed

That's because I'm a Methodist

I got the Methodist blues

Everybody wants to sit in the back pews

Want the sermon to reflect their views

Some of these Christians, they are the rudest

What do you say we try being Buddhist?

The same ten people always volunteer,

Half of them old, the others just weird,

How ever do we manage to persist

We do it by being Methodist

I got the Methodist blues.

People offer to help then they don't remember

It can make you almost lose your temper

Sit and steam and clench your fist

But you can't hit them, you're Methodist,

Got the Methodist blues.

God put us here to serve a mission

But people won't come if you don't air condition.

We've got the blues and we're getting more bluish

Why don't we switch to Jewish?

Everyone's afraid of change.

Don't like anything new or strange.

Or we get our underwear in a twist

That's how it is with a Methodist

I got the Methodist blues

Listen:

http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media/player/start/00:00:03:55.0/end/00:00:07:36.0/phc/2004/06/12_phc.ram

A fellow Methodist Minister sent this to me, not sure if this means he has the Methodist Blues.
But much of what Garrison Keillor sings is true. But I thought he was Lutheran, so how does he know so much about the Methodist? Maybe we all aren't so different after all? Maybe all we Methodist got the Methodist Blues. I don't feel like I do, because I am a Christian, a follower of Christ, the Methodist Church is a functional way of living it out just as any other denomination or nondenomination is. If we got the Methodist Blues how come so many Methodist churches are alive and well? How come they are becoming innovative, inspirational, and relevant? How come more people are living out their passion and gifts as laity? How come more Pastors are growing spiritually and alive in their ministry?

Yes, there are the churches who are dying. Yes there are the laity that keep doing the same old thing. Yes there are often the same ten that volunteer in some churches. And yes there is often the lack of follow through. But you have to say there are many laity, Pastors and churches who are alive, singing a new song, a song that God has given them.

Are you singing the blues or a new song that God has given you?