Tuesday, October 31, 2006
painting at Radiant Light
I have lost my voice. I lost it Sunday, and it is still gone.
I think it is called laryngitis or something like that.
It began with Sinus problems on Friday.
And now I also have vertigo.
It brought to mind, though other times in life
when I didn't have a voice or felt like my
voice was silenced. Have you ever felt that?
I have felt that often in my life, and I don't like that
feeling. It is a feeling of being smothered, it is a feeling of
shame, it is a feeling of helplessness, it is a feeling of powerlessness,
it is a feeling of isolation, it is a feeling of worthlessness.
I felt it as a girl growing up in the 60's.
I felt it as a teenager and a young woman in the 70's.
I felt it as a woman in the 80's.
I felt it as a woman in the 90's.
And I feel it as middle aged woman now.
Why are voices silenced?
Why are children told shush, now don't tell anyone?
Why are children told, it didn't really happen?
Why are children told, no one will believe you?
Why do you say, you are making it up?
Why do you say, you are too angry we don't want to listen to you?
Why do you say, what you have to say doesn't matter?
Why do you say, you are an older woman now,
it is time for the younger voices to be heard?
Why God am I then called to preach?
Why then do I feel like I have something to say?
Why then on Sundays, Wednesdays and other times
do I climb up to the pulpit to open my mouth to speak?
Why do some want my advice and want to know what I think?
listen, to God all voices are heard.
To God all voices are meant to be heard.
To God my voice is heard.
To God your voice is heard