Now we read that in letters she wrote, she suffered what she called the "silence of God. "
"Jesus has a very special love for you. As for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great that I look and do not see, listen and do not hear. " — Mother Teresa to the Rev. Michael Van Der Peet, September 1979. Since this new book, Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light has been published, the news media has been calling it her "crisis of faith." Time magazine's "Mother Teresa's Crisis of Faith". or read Newsweek's: Teresa, Bright and Dark.
I find her more admirable that she did have a crisis of faith, if you want to call it that, or that she felt empty or experienced the silence of God. I don't know though that I like that the letters she wrote and asked to be kept confidential were not. It feels like someone taking advantage of her or trying to put her in a bad light.But, I don't know of anyone who has not gone through a crisis of faith or felt empty or experienced the silence of God. It is part of being human, part of being Christian, part of being on a spiritual journey. If you read of Jesus' experience in the garden of Gethsemane and even on the cross was exactly that. Following Jesus is not easy, we carry a cross too. Being called by God to Pastor or any form of ministry is not easy. You will have dark nights of the soul, desert times, loneliness, emptiness, silence, and dark night of the soul. But you will also have times of joy, sheer joy, not happiness, joy, peace, peace that has no earthly explanation, you will have the things promised.
Lets ask this, was she depressed? Perhaps. Burned out? Perhaps. Did she have compassion fatigue? Good possibility. Would medication have helped, maybe. Would time away and time out help, most likely. Would spiritual direction help, yes. It makes you wonder if the persons on the other end of the letters knew she suffered so, why didn't they try to get her help or encourage her to get help? Maybe they did try. I wonder if she carried the pain of the world, the sadness, the horror, the emptiness of the world, the silence of the world towards itself? She had to have great compassion to do what she did, and yet where was she getting fed and nourished for such a task?
Have I experienced such times in my life, my walk with Jesus, my ministry, you bet I have, and I can only imagine they will come again. I ordered the book, and plan to read it when I get it.